Harder than you think.

You know everyones different in there own ways. Especialy me. Because Im alot slower and not as smart as alot of people, its ok for people to make a fool of me, but they do that because its easy to upset me, or wind me up. People always say be strong don't let people walk all over you, but Im telling you it doesn't happen over night. It takes alot longer for me to understand things. No one belives that, not even my work. At school I was told I just wasn't trying and even at college. Apprently "I was expecting them to do the work for me" No. Im fucking asking you to tell me how to fucking word this essay because I have NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT THE FECK IM DOING!"
I also think alot of people don't fully understand the difference from a downer to depression.
I understand that people can't be fucked reading about peoples problems but maybe they should respect that some people really do suffer even if they have good lives.
Were all messed up in the head, were all unhappy, doesnt matter if your poor or rich. There is just no pleasing you fuckers is there...
I used to be that fanny that would post shit on facebook.
"so depressed today, might kill myself"
Yeah I stopped that because people see what as attention seeking. And maybe it was because I was only 16/17 still going through at hormonal, stroppy angry teen.
Im 19 now and to be honest. I have more guts to kill myself now than when I was 16.
Its funny because I have never been dignosed with anything, not even depression.
NEVER been put on medication and I should be proud of that.
I have had therpy but I find whenever I go there they just treat me as a child.
But you know when I think positivly.
I have great friends.
Great family.
Im young and single.
I might not be the skinniest or prettiest girl but theres alot worse than me.
I have a job.
People think "OH YOU HAVE IT ALL WHY U DEPRESSED UR SO SELFISH"
blah blah blah
those are the people who clearly have no fucking idea.
Yes i may have great friends
but sometimes I feel they just dont want to talk to me because theres so much more important things they want to be doing.
Yes I have good family but even they dont seem to understand how I feel.
I know theres worse but sometimes I look in the mirror and see the most horrid looking fat girl Iv ever seen.
I may have a job but I feel like Im not good enough for it. I mess everything up. We all make mistakes but I seem to make them ALOT.
But Im still here some how.

Clearly Im here for a reason

You cant get rid of me that easy

Peace out good night x